There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.
I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele
"we almost dated" is such a weird relationship to have with someone
Plus the sequel “we never got closure”
And then the side adaptation “as a result I have a weird crush that never died”
I think my favorite thing about this generation is how seriously everyone takes their Hogwarts house.
1. Gay is okay.
2. Straight is okay.
3. Crazy is awesome.
4. Transvestites are fine.
5. Rock ‘n roll is fantastic.
6. How to do the time warp.
7.Balding men can be cool.
8. Wheelchair-bound doesn’t make you anything less than you are.
9.Feeling sexy is nothing to be ashamed of.
10.Dress to express.
11. Don’t dream it, be it.